


When Dean lost his pudge

by Winchester1989



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Burgers - Freeform, Eating, Eating Disorders, Fat Shaming, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Dean, It's angsty but then it's fluffy, Just read it y'all :), M/M, Married Couple, Oblivious Castiel, Oblivious Sam, Pie, salads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 09:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12702438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester1989/pseuds/Winchester1989
Summary: Dean likes food. His husband Castiel bakes him pies, the Roadhouse gives him the best burgers... and so what if he's got a little bit of a pudge? He's not fat.But then Sam says something. And Jo. And all of a sudden, Castiel says something too.And it hurts.





	When Dean lost his pudge

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags for trigger warnings.  
> If you're sensitive when it comes to dieting/ eating disorders, then don't read :)

Pudgy Midway. That was supposed to be Dean’s stripper name.  
“Get it? Because of your little pudge!” Sam had said. Dean wasn’t stupid; he knew his brother didn’t mean any harm by the comment. However, this wasn’t the first time that Sam had mentioned Dean’s belly. Or someone else, for that matter. That wasn’t even the only comment made last night.  
Jo had served him, his husband Castiel and Sam and Jessica that evening, the Roadhouse being their regular spot to eat every Friday.

“Cheeseburgers again, Dean? Thought Sam would finally get through to you someday, watch out, you’ll get fat!” Jo had said, not with any malice, but still with a little look at where his shirt had tightened around his stomach. Yeah, sure, he had gained a couple of pounds but with work being slow at the garage and Castiel’s great home cooking… who was he to say no to his husband?

Cas loved to cook, and Dean loved to taste and test every single little thing Cas made for him. Dean didn’t exercise; he figured his heavy lifting and manual labor at Bobby’s garage was more than enough.  
Castiel never mentioned Dean’s weight. They had been high school sweethearts, together for so long that they didn’t really care what the other man looked like any more. Of course there was physical attraction, but the years had been kind to both of them and they weren’t the horny teenagers they used to be. Not everything was about sex anymore. They got their satisfaction out of lazy evenings sprawled out on the couch, cuddle sessions in bed and in the kitchen, bickering at each other about taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn.

They liked their little life. Cas would always be the one to cuddle up to Dean at night, holding him, sprawling over him like some damn octopus and in the winter, fulfilling his goal to be Dean’s night time furnace. Dean never complained, he loved to be his husband’s pillow.

“I’ve told him many times, Jo, but between his love for fast food and Castiel’s cooking there’s only so much a man can do…” Sam sighed, looking up at Jo with a grin.  
Castiel didn’t notice Dean was uncomfortable, as he was still picking out his order on the menu.

“I’ll have the chicken salad please, Jo.” He said. Dean looked at him and frowned.  
“You don’t want a burger too?” he asked Castiel. The man never ordered a salad and now, all of a sudden, Cas decided he wanted a chicken salad?  
Castiel just closed the menu and looked at Sam.  
“I make salad’s at home all the time, Dean. Not that you eat them. Thought I’d do something different tonight.” 

The comment hurt Dean more than he let on. He kept replaying it in his head the entire evening, the comments from Sam, Jo and Cas whirling around at his head, all coming down to the same thing; _you’re getting fat, Dean._  
He knows he shouldn’t let them get to him; it wasn’t as if he was actually fat or even obese; yes he had meaty thighs, but he had strong leg muscles from his manual labor and so what if he had a little bit of belly fat? Any grown man in his thirties was bound to gain some weight, right? 

Right?

 _Not that you eat them._ Was Cas trying to tell him something? Did he think Dean was getting too big? He didn’t object to Cas making salads; he just didn’t want to eat them. A grown man eating leaves, it just wasn’t right.

Dean was zoning out the rest of the evening, thinking about the comments made and how he could lose weight. The only one who didn’t make a comment to Dean about his weight had been Jessica. Sweet, sweet Jessica.  
She was also the only one to notice that Dean was a bit off; Castiel was having too much fun talking about something boring with Sam, as usual.  
Most of the times Dean enjoyed following the conversation between his brother and his husband; they were usually so caught up in it they forgot their surroundings and Dean just loved seeing Castiel happy.

Jess put her hand on top of Dean’s and looked at him with concern.  
“Are you okay?” she mouthed, not wanting to attract the attention of the other two people at the table.  
Dean shrugged.  
“Fine…” he mumbled, playing with the label on his beer bottle. 

Jessica narrowed her eyes and squeezed his hand. “No you’re not,” she whispered. “What is it?”  
Dean sighed and pulled out his phone, typing what he wanted to say, afraid Cas was going to hear if he said it aloud.

 _Do you think I’m fat?_ he had typed, and watched Jess’ face closely as she read the message.  
Jessica had a blank face and handed the phone back.  
She looked at Dean with soft, warm eyes.  
“No… you’re fine just the way you are” she whispered. 

Dean didn’t believe her for one second, and put the phone back in his pocket, a silent gesture saying he was done with the conversation. Jessica sat back and kept close watch on Dean, but didn’t bring it up again.

When midnight came around, they parted ways. Sam and Cas walked out first, leaving Dean behind with Jessica.

“You really worried about this?” she asked as she held him by the arm.  
Dean shrugged and really wanted to go home. He was done with the entire evening.  
“Listen, if you’re that worried about it, I can give you some tips, I have some diet books at home? Or I could e-mail you some websites, if you want. But Dean… don’t listen too much to them. You’re fine just the way you are.” 

“I’m fine, Jess, really.” He said, wanting this conversation to be over. He’d look at some websites himself, he wasn’t _that_ bad with computers.  
Jess hadn’t even said he wasn’t fat, she said ‘You’re fine just the way you are.’  
Which means that yeah, he had a pudgy belly, but that was okay? It wasn’t okay!  
It was far from okay. Even Cas said Dean should eat a salad or two.

After Dean and Cas had gotten out of Sam’s car, they walked to the front door in silence. Castiel hadn’t noticed Dean was feeling down, and if he did, he didn’t confront Dean about it.  
The two men went through their evening routine the same way they had been doing for many years.  
Dean changed first while Cas was in the bathroom, and then Dean went in the bathroom and Cas changed for bed.

Both men were in bed just fifteen minutes after getting home, Dean reading some non-descript book on his e-reader and Cas cuddling up beside him.

Cas was asleep in minutes, leaving Dean to ponder and worry until he too fell asleep a couple of hours later.

~*~ 

Dean had been acting strange for about two weeks now. He was dizzy a lot of the time and also sleeping a lot. He had lost his lovely little pudge and couldn’t focus on the simplest of tasks.

The fact that he had to use a belt now to hold his jeans up was worrying Castiel.  
Dean was pale, sweating and only served himself once during dinner. Normally he’d go for at least two servings, filling Castiel with joy because he loved to see his husband eat his cooking.

Now he filled the plate with nothing more than to please a child’s stomach and even then played with it more than actually taking bites.

He had tried talking to Dean about it, who consistently pushed him away, telling him he probably had a stomach virus or was just too tired from work.  
Too tired to eat? Dean? 

Castiel didn’t want to have an argument with Dean about it, knowing Dean would be stubborn and probably just leave the house to cool down.  
Letting Dean leave the house while he was in such a condition was the last thing Castiel wanted.

His husband had been off ever since that evening at the Roadhouse. Castiel tried to remember if there had been anything out of the ordinary that evening, but aside from Sam’s usual banter he could think of nothing.  
Dean hadn’t wanted to go last week, complaining about feeling tired and just wanting a nice, quiet evening in with his husband. Not that they didn’t do that already every other night of the week.

Castiel had let it slide though; it wasn’t often that Dean asked for something or didn’t want to go, so Cas didn’t push. 

It was time to go to bed now, Dean changing while Cas was in the bathroom and then switching places.  
Dean was swaying on his feet a bit as he walked towards the bathroom, and Castiel was quickly at his side, holding him gently by the shoulders.

“Dean?” he asked, trying to make eye contact with his husband. Dean looked up but didn’t really focus on Castiel’s face. His face was pale and he was blinking slowly.  
“Dean, sit down,” Castiel said, as he walked Dean over to the bed, making sure the man didn’t fall. Castiel wasn’t sure if he would be able to keep Dean from falling to the floor.  
“Stay right there. If the dizziness gets worse; lay down.” 

Quickly he went into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and some biscuits. He had a strange feeling in his gut. He knew what was happening.  
How could he have been so blind? His Dean, his lovely Dean, not eating? No way he had a stomach virus; there hadn’t been any puking or other symptoms of illness. Dean was barely eating. On purpose.

Walking back into the bedroom he sat down next to his husband, who seemed so docile and pliant that it scared him. Dean didn’t even lift a hand to grab the glass.  
Castiel held the glass to Dean’s mouth and helped him drink, then offered him the biscuits.

“Don’ wanna…” Dean mumbled as he narrowed his eyes at Cas.  
“Shouldn’t… get fat.” 

“Dean don’t be ridiculous. Eat.” Castiel prodded, and unceremoniously shoved half the biscuit in his husband’s mouth.  
“I will not have you develop some sort of eating disorder because of something Sam sad.”

“And you said…” Dean mumbled through the cookie.

Castiel stiffened. What had he said? He would never, _ever_ hurt Dean. Had he said something about his husband’s weight? Surely not. Castiel couldn’t care less. As long as Dean was happy, everything was okay.

Clearly Dean wasn’t happy and Castiel had something to do with it.  
“Dean? Dean, what did I say?” he asked as he rubbed his husband’s thigh.

Dean mumbled something, but it was hard to tell what.  
“Speak up, sweetheart. Please tell me if I hurt you.” Castiel stated with a trembling voice.

“I never eat salads…” Dean whispered as he buried his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck.  
Castiel closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as he felt Dean’s wet tears soak into his shirt.

That stupid idiot. He had twisted Castiel’s words in such a way that he thought Castiel was not happy with him the way he was. Didn’t matter they had been married for over ten years. Didn’t matter Castiel had told him countless times how much he loved him.

After letting Dean get it all out, he pushed him back so he could look his husband in the face.  
“Dean, I want you to look at me and I want you to listen to me. After that, you’re going to eat something. Do you understand?” 

Dean’s teary eyes blinked and he nodded, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Ew.  
“Have I ever told you how much I loved your pudgy belly?” 

Dean sniffled and shook his head.  
“Well, I’m telling you now. I loved it. I want it back. You’re not fat, and you never were. I need you as my pillow every night, and I’m sorry to say this, but these last few days haven’t been that comfortable. I want you happy and healthy, Dean. I want you to make fun of my salads, I want you to fill your plate two times, I want you to eat your pie every Sunday. Because I love baking pie for you.” 

Dean teared up again during Castiel’s little speech.

“Please don’t have an eating disorder.”

“I don’t… I’m hungry.” Dean stated, making Castiel chuckle.

“Then let’s make you something to eat. Something light though, if I give you bacon right now, your body is going to make you puke it all up.” 

Putting the last cookie in Dean’s mouth, he guided his husband to the living room, plopping him down on the sofa as he went into the kitchen to make Dean some porridge.

~*~

Dean had eaten his porridge last night and emptied the bowl. After laying Dean down in bed, Castiel had cuddled up to him and had made Dean promise him to never do that again.  
He also reminded his husband about this little thing called ‘talking’ and the other thing called ‘asking questions’. If Dean had only done that, Castiel could’ve made it clear to him from the beginning that he just wanted Dean happy.

It was Friday evening now, and Dean wasn’t up to going to the Roadhouse just yet. Castiel understood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going himself. He needed to have a talk with Sam.

After leaving Dean at home that day, having called Bobby to let him know Dean would be back on Monday, he had made sure Dean had gotten three full meals and some snacks in between, keeping it light so Dean could get adjusted to larger portions again.  
Dean wanted Castiel to stay home, but Castiel had been honest and said he wanted to talk to Sam.

Well, he had been semi honest. Yes, he wanted to talk to Sam, but not to discuss history like Dean thought. He left Dean with a cheese and cucumber sandwich, a glass of milk and Netflix and a kiss on his forehead.

When Castiel entered the bar, he found his brother-in-law immediately, Jess by his side.  
“Dean not here again?” Sam asked, concern on his face.

“No. In fact there’s something I need to talk to you about.”  
Jessica sighed and looked at Castiel.  
“Is this about… you know… his weight? He told me he was worried about it. I said he was just fine the way he was but… he seemed off, that night.” she said, subdued, as Sam jerked his face towards here with confusion.

“What? What are you talking about? Castiel, what is she talking about?” Sam asked, as Jess didn’t reply.

“He uh… he thought he was getting too fat. Spent the last two weeks dieting and nearly fainting because of it.”

Sam’s face turned from confusion to guilt. “He thought we… I… But he knows I was just kidding, right?” 

“I’m afraid he took it rather seriously. He was crying last night. You know Dean. He almost never cries,” Castiel said as he waved his hand at Jo, beckoning her to come over.  
“He also thought I felt the same, because of the salad comment.”  
Jo had walked over, and Castiel asked her to sit with them, just for five minutes.  
She was working, but could spare some time for her friends before Ellen found out. 

Jo looked at Castiel questioningly.  
“We need to be more careful about what we say around Dean.” 

“What do you mean?” Jo asked, confusion on her face.

“About his eating. About his little bit of stomach fat. He took our comments rather harshly and tortured himself these last two weeks, dieting so extreme it made him sick and underweight. He’s at home now, still tired and pale but I managed to get some food into him today.”

Jo’s face was still with shock and guilt. Sam was the exact same way. Castiel looked at his watch and decided he wanted to go home. He didn’t want to leave Dean for more than half an hour. 

Jo apologized profusely and mentioned coming over Sunday. With pie. Castiel didn’t object, because it would make his Sunday morning free so he could pamper Dean with a good breakfast and a cuddle session on the couch.

Sam and Jess decided to go with Castiel, wanting to see Dean for themselves and Sam wanting to apologize.

He never meant to hurt Dean, and Castiel understood. It was best to get the two brothers together sooner than later.

~*~

After unlocking the front door, the trio found Dean fast asleep on the sofa, sandwich half eaten and Netflix still streaming. Castiel turned the television off and gently nudged Dean’s shoulders, waking him up slowly. Sam had sat down on the coffee table. Normally, Castiel would object to that, after all it was a very nice coffee table, but he knew he shouldn’t interfere with yet another brotherly bonding moment and decided he would make some coffee as Sam talked to Dean.

Jess followed him into the kitchen, setting out the coffee cups and some biscuits.  
He heard mumbling coming from the living room, recognizing it as Dean’s immediately. He didn’t sound angry or tired, which he figured was a good thing.

When the coffee was ready, Castiel and Jess walked into the living room to see the two brothers exchange a hug, quickly letting go of each other when they noticed their other halves were back.

“You ladies done bonding?” Jess asked with a hint of sarcasm, as she set the coffee down with a smile.  
“Yeah, well, he started it,” Dean sniffed. “He’s always such a girl.”

“Watch it, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

Castiel smiled, knowing the two were okay again.

Sam and Jess stayed until about 9pm, when Dean had started yawning and nodding off. Taking that as their que, they left with a promise to come back again on Sunday, not wanting to miss Jo’s pie.

Castiel locked the front door and walked back to his husband. He grabbed a throw blanket from their cupboard and sat down next to Dean, wrapping the blanket over their bodies. Then, he snuggled into Dean, who lifted his arm so Castiel could burrow further.

“I love you, Dean.” 

“Love you too, Cas.”

“And?”

“… And I love your cooking.” 

“That’s more like it.”


End file.
